I had a lot to say; rather like venting I suppose. Not so much anymore…guess that’s what time gives you.
I’ve been thinking of a movie quote quite a lot today.
I watched “Breach” with my brothers earlier this week. It’s based on a true story, so this characters words may have been spoken by a real, genuine, person back in 2001. At one point in the film, Eric O’Neill, mentioning a discussion he’d had with his wife in which she asked him why his boss was such a pain to be around, tells Hanssen “I had all these answers for her. ‘He’s misunderstood.’ ‘He’s trying to fix the bureau and no one will listen.’ ‘He was born in the wrong century.’ ‘His father’s a jerk.’ I got a whole list.
But you know something Sir, at the end of the day it’s all cr-p. You ARE who you are. The why doesn’t mean a thing does it?”
Yeah, we all have these excuses for why we act as we do. Or to rationalize away why someone we love can just make us feel like dirt all the time. Often we try to rationalize that because we don’t want to face the truth and hurt that that someone, when it comes right down to it, really doesn’t care enough to make a change.
Hey, but leave off everyone else here. Forget about those people who you can’t explain. Think about yourself. Do you have excuses for your behavior? Do others make excuses for you?
“It is not what we say or feel that makes us who we are. It is what we do; or fail to do.”
Marianne Dashwood, in Andrew Davies adaption of Sense & Sensibility
I can’t help feeling that there is something more, that I have a chance for something greater. To rise above the petty why. Not to allow myself to define myself; to make excuses for why I do what I do. Not by my feelings, my words, my status in life. Not by what others around me say or do, and why they do it. No, but defined by what I choose to do, or that which I fail in.
Because, in the end, the why doesn’t mean a thing, does it?