I have totally decided that I am getting back on my exercise routine. In spite of how I feel; ignoring any pain that tells me otherwise, I am going to conquer this thing. Thinking about it: getting in better shape isn’t necessarily going to keep me from feeling bad whenever the pain decides to strike…but it will make it not quite as horrible. I am so tired of feeling like this all the time; and while I may continue to have only one good day out of five for some time yet till we can figure this out, I am going to fight to have the healthiest body I am capable of.
And I am going to pray like never before about it.
That is one thing I have been convicted of recently; prayer. I have been reading through Elizabeth George’s book, “A Woman After God’s Own Heart” in anticipation for my girls study which will (Lord willing) start in January, and was quickly brought up short when I reached the third chapter. ‘Of course I pray!!’ was my first response…even more quickly followed by ‘but not like that’. Not as deeply, not as completely. Not about every single thing in my life. Oh, yeah, sure I pray about big decisions to be made; for friends or acquaintances who are ill, in need of healing or help in another area. I even pray for strength to make it through the day, physically and relationally.
But there were two huge things in my life that I hadn’t really talked to God about. I mean really, intently, and intimately talked with God about. The first, I realized about a month or so ago, but haven’t been completely faithful in. I’m going to assume that pretty much only girls read this blog (if anyone), and probably only ones who I know and who know me very well. So I’ll go ahead and say it without fear of being taken the wrong way.
I have prayed for different things in/for my future husband; this or that character trait, health, safety, an unquenchable love for the Lord…but I had never asked God for a husband specifically.
And I don’t remember ever asking Him for His divine help in losing all my excess weight. I have struggled for years to get my extra weight off…and only succeeded in yo-yoing with it. Now, with my recently discovered (but as of yet, still un-diagnosed) health problems, losing this weight has become all the more important.
“I will lift up my eyes to the hills-
from whence comes my help?
My help comes from the Lord.”
God will, I believe, give me strength if I ask for it in this area. For “this is the confidence which we have before Him, that, if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests which we have asked from Him” (1 John 5:14,15). I also know that good health is in His will, according to 1 Corinthians 6:12-14, 18-20 and 9:24-27.
I also believe that God does intend for me to marry; “for indeed man was not created for the woman’s sake, but woman [was created] for the man’s sake” (1 Corinthians 11:9) and Titus 2:4,5 says to encourage the young women to love their husbands (among other things), impossible to do if they weren’t married.
So I am going to be earnestly seeking God for these specific two things. I also have a feeling I have a whole lot more to learn.