So, now I have a difficult (for me, yes, not an easy) topic to open up for discussion.
I have never been an eloquent speaker, and at times it is difficult for me to really open up about myself and my aspirations.
I particularly have great difficulty when discussing with young men my hopes and goals for the future.
How do you, when asked what you want to do with your life, tell a young man (a single man, much less) that your great desire is to be married, to stand up alongside your husband, being an ezer kenegdo to him, taking on his missions and goals as your own; to raise up godly children who will grow up to make a difference for Christ in our world…that you believe the greatest calling or vocation a woman can have is that of glorifying God through her service to her family…how do you tell a young, single man this without appearing 1) flirtatious, or 2)just plain grasping?
I sincerely want to get married, to aid a man in his life’s work of bringing glory to God…but I’m not just rearing at the bit to marry the first guy I see. I don’t want anyone to think my first goal is simply to find a husband, be who or what he will.
I think of this now as I had a conversation with a guy last week (don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful when people ask me these hard questions, as it forces me to really think through them) in which he finally asked me That Question (notice, not the same as The Question–they are totally different); “what do you want or hope to do in/with your life?”. My answer was stumbling at best: “I-uh-well, of course I don’t want to be doing exactly what I’m doing now ten years down the road…but-um…you know, I think where I am now, and what I’m doing is what God has for me at the moment.” I mean, what kind of answer is that?! Not one, if you ask me. You see, people (though not my parents or those whose opinions or counsel really mattered, so why did I listen in the first place? Good question…anyway) had told me never to tell a young man anything along those lines of marriage, etc. unless you were engaged, or at the least courting; it just wasn’t ‘proper etiquette’. But it’s not like I’m proposing to the guy or vice-versa.
So, my question for you, my brothers and sisters in Christ, and I’m begging for some input here, please! is this;
- Gals, how do you answer this? What have you found helpful in this area?
- And guys; what response do you find answers your question adequately without making you feel a girl is on the prowl for a husband? What do you hope to see your sisters in Christ change in this area?